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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25895635">I May Be Stupid</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scourgefan12/pseuds/Scourgefan12'>Scourgefan12</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Hellsing</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Gen</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 11:41:20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,449</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25895635</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scourgefan12/pseuds/Scourgefan12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Jan wasn't the brightest member of Millennium. This was clear to anyone who interacted with him.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>I May Be Stupid</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Doc and Jan were currently sat at a table in the rec room. There were a few other Millennium members littered about the place, but none of them were paying the two of them any mind. They were all busy doing their own thing.</p>
<p>That was convenient for the pair, since they also had something they needed to focus on. They were here for a reason, and unlike everyone else here, what they were doing had nothing to do with relaxing or having fun. Really, they'd just chosen the rec room out of convenience. They'd needed somewhere they could sit together, and this room had been the closest.</p>
<p>Plus, the atmosphere of this place was pretty nice. Better than most other areas of the hideout, at least.</p>
<p>Now, what were the two of them doing in here? Well, they were studying. Or more accurately, Jan was studying and Doc was helping him.</p>
<p>"Man, this fucking sucks." Jan sighed, glaring down at the paper in front of him. "It's like the prime time of the night, I could be out hunting or some shit instead of doing this." He waited a few seconds, and when this didn't get a response out of Doc he kept going. "I mean, we could pick this up tomorrow instead. Skipping just this once wouldn't hurt anything, right?" </p>
<p>When they first started this arrangement, this would have been annoying. Doc may have even taken the bait and snapped at him, or given in and let him leave. However, since then he had gotten used to Jan's complaining and had figured out ways to deal with it. </p>
<p>"Jan, listen." It was actually pretty easy. He was surprised at himself for taking so long to figure it out. "You're doing great. You know that, right?"</p>
<p>The sour look on Jan's face was quickly replaced by surprise. "I.. am?"</p>
<p>A little positive reinforcement and Jan was suddenly a lot more cooperative. "Of course. It's really hard to ask someone to teach you something, especially if it's something that feels like it should be simple." And especially when everyone you could potentially ask would either laugh in your face or ignore you completely. The people Millennium hired weren't exactly known for being good or nice.</p>
<p>Doc chose to ignore the fact that Jan had absolutely not asked him to do this, he'd just noticed Jan struggling and offered. Or more accurately, imposed. Details like that didn't matter right now. </p>
<p>"But despite that, you're making so much progress. It's only been a few weeks, and you've already learned your multiplication tables." Doc was maybe laying it on a bit thick. He honestly wasn't sure, he'd never had to do anything like encourage others before. "You can do this, just like I've taught you."</p>
<p>Jan slowly nodded, accepting Doc's words. He still seemed unsure, but at least didn't look completely miserable anymore. </p>
<p>Good enough. As long as he wasn't ready to bolt out of there, Doc would take it.</p>
<p>"Okay, ready?" Doc pulled the paper in front on Jan over to himself. There was a singular problem written on it, sixteen times fifty five. "Let's start small. What's six times five?"</p>
<p>"Six times five..." Jan repeated the question to himself a few times, looking down at his fingers to count. "It's like... thirty, right?"</p>
<p>"Correct! See? I knew you could do it." Doc slid the paper back over to Jan, allowing him to write down his answer. "You're basically already halfway there."</p>
<p>"Yeah... yeah, okay. I get it." Jan perked up, some of his usual exuberance returning. With that, he went quiet and focused on solving the rest of the problem.</p>
<p>Doc decided to leave him to it. Sure, he could help more, but too much help and he'd practically just be feeding Jan the answer. Jan was perfectly capable of doing the rest on his own.</p>
<p>Doc decided to occupy his time by looking around the room, seeing what the others were up to.</p>
<p>Dandy Man seemed to have coaxed Rip into a game of darts. Of course, he was winning. It hardly seemed like a competition. Despite that, Rip seemed to be enjoying herself.</p>
<p>Schrodinger and the Captain were playing pool. Or rather, Captain was playing while Schrodinger watched and occasionally batted the balls around. This should have ruined the game and caused them to have to restart, but Captain hardly paid it any mind.</p>
<p>Doc couldn't help but smile at what he saw. It was rare that the others got along so well. It wasn't exactly because they hated each other, but... well actually yes, quite a few of them <em>did</em> hate each other. But that was to be expected. If you put that many unique personalities in a room together, it was only natural that some of them would be at each others throats.</p>
<p>It was always a nice change of pace when the others managed to enjoy each others company. Mainly because having to break up fights between them was exhausting. Not to mention stressful, having to worry about these people flying off the handle and killing each other was not fun.</p>
<p>"Hey, Doc!" Jan quickly snapped him out of his thoughts. "Doc, I did it. How's it look?"</p>
<p>"Hm? You're finished?" Doc took the paper from Jan so he could review the answer. "Alright, let's see."</p>
<p>Upon looking at the answer Jan had written, he felt the positivity and hopefulness start to leak out of him like a deflated balloon. "What is this?" Surely Jan was joking.</p>
<p>Jan let out an excited little laugh. "Well? Am I right?"</p>
<p>Twenty eight. That was what Jan had written. Either he thought he was being very funny right now, or everything Doc had hammered into his brain over the past few weeks had suddenly vanished.</p>
<p>Either way, Doc was pissed. He could feel his blood pressure rising with each second that passed. All rational thought left him in that moment.</p>
<p>He practically leapt out of his seat, picking up the pencil that had been set aside and stabbing it into Jan's cheek. "You stupid delinquent! Are you messing with me right now?" He let go of the pencil, which was impeded deep enough that it didn't fall when he did so, and grabbed Jan by the collar of his shirt. "How many times do I have to teach you before you actually learn? You absolute shit for brains!" He gave Jan a quick shake before shoving him away.</p>
<p>Jan stumbled back, but didn't fall. He didn't do anything for a moment, just assessing the situation. His eyes darted between Doc and the impromptu weapon that had formed a new hole in his face. Once he did speak, he certainly wasn't happy. "What... the <em>fuck</em> is wrong with you?"</p>
<p>"You <em>just</em> said that six times five was thirty, so why the hell is your answer less than that?!" Doc felt like he was going insane. He wanted to make a grab at Jan again, maybe bash his head against the table. Perhaps Jan would have an easier time understanding if the answers were beat into him.</p>
<p>At this point, the others who were in the room had abandoned what they'd been doing, much more interested in the commotion the two of them were causing.</p>
<p>"Oh, man. He's really lost it now, huh?" Schrodinger commented, thoroughly amused with the situation.</p>
<p>The only response Captain gave was a brief nod, eyes wide with awe.</p>
<p>"So... after the show is over, are you going to finish your game, or..?" </p>
<p>And that didn't get any response at all.</p>
<p>Before Doc could move to do anything else, Jan whipped out a knife that he'd apparently been concealing in one of his pockets, pressing it close to Doc's neck to prevent him from coming any closer. "Hey... the hell did you just call me? Shit for brains, right?" Now he was pissed too, trembling with barely contained rage. "Didn't you say it's bad to look down on others?"</p>
<p>Doc probably had said something along those lines, at some point. He couldn't exactly remember at the moment.</p>
<p>Jan took the silence as confirmation, pressing the tip of knife farther into Doc's neck. Not pressing hard enough to actually draw blood, at least. Not yet, anyway. "I'll kill you. I'll fucking kill you, Doc."</p>
<p>He probably really would, too. Doc knew him well enough to know that he didn't have the foresight to realize why that was a bad idea, or the self control to care even if he <em>did</em> know.</p>
<p>Doc was starting to seriously regret his own lack of foresight. If he'd have known something like this would happen, he never would have offered to tutor Jan in the first place.</p>
<p>----------</p>
<p>Jan and Luke had been sent out to do some grocery shopping for Millennium. Each week or so, Major would choose someone else to send out for the task, and this week it had been their turn.</p>
<p>Or more accurately it had been Jan's turn, and Luke had decided to accompany him to make sure he actually bought what they were sent out for instead of just spending all the money on himself.</p>
<p>This had been a wise decision. Upon returning home and putting everything away, it was very clear Luke had been the only one who had bothered to stick to the list they'd been given. All Jan had bought was a bunch of junk. </p>
<p>Plenty of drinks, both soda and alcohol. </p>
<p>An absurd amount of junk food, which Luke almost wanted to scream at him for because he couldn't even eat it! He was a vampire, he couldn't stomach human food anymore. Luke avoided saying anything though, deciding to let Jan figure that lesson out through experience.</p>
<p>He'd also got himself a new stereo, along with a few CDs. This seemed like the most reasonable purchase, since it would probably last the longest. Though, Luke had a feeling that would also make it the most annoying one. Jan could hardly regulate the volume of his own voice half the time, how was he supposed to be expected to own a stereo without blowing out the eardrums of everyone around him?</p>
<p>Luckily, it seemed Jan <em>did</em> sometimes think things through. He'd got himself a pair of headphones to go with it. </p>
<p>It seemed that potential crisis was averted. Jan would be able to enjoy himself, and for once it wouldn't be at the expense of others. He'd probably be really tolerable now, actually. For a little while, before he got bored with his new source of entertainment.</p>
<p>In theory, at least. Luke ended up learning the sad truth that it wasn't nearly as simple in practice.</p>
<p>A few days later, Luke found himself in Jan's room.</p>
<p>He was there, obviously, to spend time with his brother. And that was what he was doing... kind of. </p>
<p>They were together, but they weren't exactly interacting. They were just kind of doing their own thing. Luke was sat on the bed, trying to catch up on some reading. And Jan was on the floor, fiddling around with his new stereo. The two of them hadn't exchanged a single word since Luke had got there.</p>
<p>Not that Luke was complaining. Peace and quiet was hard to come by around here, even harder if you were around Jan. As far as he was concerned, their meeting was going splendidly so far.</p>
<p>It was nice. Relaxing. Luke felt completely content for the first time in a while.</p>
<p>This feeling of peace was broken as soon as Jan started actually listening to music.</p>
<p>Luke almost physically jumped, startled at how loud it was. He looked down and confirmed that, yes, Jan was using his headphones. The volume was just cranked up so high that they were essentially useless.</p>
<p>Luke tried to ignore it, at first. He'd lived with Jan for over twenty years, he should've been able to handle a bit of noise just fine.</p>
<p>Unfortunately, this wasn't nearly as easy as he'd hoped it would be. He could hardly focus enough to read more than one sentence. His eyes went over the same words multiple times, but he couldn't actually process any of it.</p>
<p>After a few minutes, a headache began to form. He sighed, deciding to do something about this.</p>
<p>"Hey, Jan." At the lack of response, he nudged his brother's shoulder with his foot.</p>
<p>That did the trick. Jan removed one headphone, giving Luke a vaguely annoyed look. </p>
<p>"You still have some drinks left, right?" It had only been a couple days, Luke would be concerned if the answer to that question was no. He also would have to change his plan if that were the case, which would be a shame.</p>
<p>"Yeah, why?" </p>
<p>"Could I have one?" What did Jan mean, why? What other reason would Luke ask? He didn't give Jan any grief over this, though.</p>
<p>"Sure, I guess." He shuffled over to his mini fridge, looking inside. "You want coke, or sprite?"</p>
<p>"Coke." Luke answered instinctively, though after a few seconds of thought he changed his mind. "Actually, sprite."</p>
<p>Jan rolled his eyes at his brother's indecisiveness, but didn't verbally complain, handing over what was requested.</p>
<p>"Thank you." Luke moved to lean back, before looking down at his full hands. "Actually, could you hold this for a moment?"</p>
<p>Jan did what was asked, taking Luke's book while he got the can open.</p>
<p>"Thank you again." Luke gave an appreciative smile, taking his book back. Unbeknownst to Jan, he also poured a bit of his drink onto the stereo before pulling away.</p>
<p>After that, they went back to what they'd been doing. Or, Jan did while Luke waited.</p>
<p>Any second now.</p>
<p>Luke's few moments of patience were rewarded when the music abruptly stopped. </p>
<p>"...The fuck?" Jan looked extremely puzzled, pressing a few buttons to try and get the radio working again. "You gotta be kidding me, it's already broken?"</p>
<p>At this realization, Jan went from confused to angry. It started as just mild anger, he expressed frustration at the shop owner for selling it to him in the first place if it was just going to break down so quickly.</p>
<p>In a matter of seconds though, this evolved into complete fury. He was hitting the radio, screaming about how the next time he left the hideout he was going to march back into that shop and blow the owners brains out, as well as going into detail about how he'd mow down any witnesses. It.. got pretty graphic, the longer he went on.</p>
<p>Luke sighed in relief, leaning back and sipping at the drink he was given. This was much better. Now, he could relax.</p>
<p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Doc is probably really ooc, but listen. I just really needed someone to be Fugo &amp; the only other option that fit was Luke. And I wasn't about to have Luke be the one to stab Jan in the face<br/>I desperately wanted to include the torture dance scene in this, but I couldn't for the life of me figure out how to write it</p></blockquote></div></div>
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